A popular TV hit series in the 90s - and one of my all-time favourite shows - 7th Heaven has an episode (Season 3, episode 3) where the family's middle child discovers that her best friend Nicole is a self-harmer. But I believe it was as common then as it is now. Think about it, alcoholism has always been there, but there was once a time where there was very little awareness about it.aired again where I live and this episode caught my eye. In the episode - filmed in 19
98 - it is put accross that almost nobody knows what "cutting" (as they call it on the
It is difficult to give any sort of statistics about self-harming, specifically because these numbers are based on the amount of people who actually come out and say that they are self-harmers, which is rare. But as I am sure that you know (unless you're still stuck in 1998), self-harming is an extremely common occurrence.
There are a lot of ways that you can get help, and a lot of resources for you to read, but here are some ALTERNATIVES that you can try, next time that you feel the urge to harm yourself:
- Support groups and online forums, BUT BE CAREFUL: There are some fantastic online platforms that give you access to forums where self-harm is discussed. These forums help you to interact with other people who experience similar things that you do. You will be suprised to see how big the online support community really is. My favourite is: MDJunction. The thing to watch out for is that reading what people have to say might be a trigger, so be wary.
- Pet or plant: Pouring your time and energy into something living can be incredibly therapeutic and I know for a fact that it has helped self-harmers cope. Of course think carefully before getting yourself a cat or dog, start small with a pot plant or goldfish.
- Creativity: Often finding a creative outlet for everything that's going on inside of you is extremely helpful. If you're busy brushing off this tip because 'you're not creative', DON'T. You don't have to be good at drawing, painting, taking photos etc. to use it as an outlet. Scribble, doodle, design. Use a black marker and decorate a magazine - whatever floats your boat!
- Wreck something else - instead of hurting yourself, take a piece of cardboard (for example) and use your weapon of choice to slash, tear, wreck something like cardboard.
- Hold yourself accountable - find a way to hold yourself accountable for harming yourself. This does not mean find a way to make yourself feel guilty or ashamed for hurting yourself, because this will only lead to a vicious cycle of I'm-feeling-guilty-so-I'm-going-to-hurt-myself-I-hurt-myself-now-I-feel-guilty.
- Exercise - I hate it too, don't worry. But exercise is a great way to firstly get rid of all those pent of feelings and (BONUS) it releases happy chemicals in your brain that will most likely make you feel a whole lot better.
- Let it out - It is important to realise that one of the reasons (and there are many) that some people hurt themselves intentionally is to have an outlet for all the crazy things that they may be feeling. But there are many other ways that you can let things out. And it doesn't mean that you have to talk to anyone either. Keep a journal and spew all those feelings out on a page, start a private and locked twitter account and tweet about it, keep an online journal, anything! As long as you get what you're feeling out, even if you don't know what it is you're feeling.
- It's an addiction - and the sooner you realise this the better! So, seek out the same help and support that an addict of any kind would. I'm going to leave it at that.
- Make commitments - Make arrangements to be busy at the times that you would usually harm yourself. If you have a particular time of day (eg night time when you're alone) or a day of the week or even a bad month every year, take note of your patterns and then set up plans for those times. Meet up with friends, play a sport, see a movie, go to the beach...whatever gets you out of your routine.
- Bubble wrap - it's the cure for everything.
- Blog, dammit, BLOG! - Start a blog. Write about anything and everything. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T NAME AND SHAME anyone, pour your energy into creating and keeping up a regular blog.
Notice that I have not included any alternatives that include you harming yourself in another way or creating a pain sensation. This is because I do not believe that finding a 'safer' way to cause yourself pain can be considered an alternative at all.
