10 Tips for Surviving GROUP WORK

Working with people, especially in groups, is something that follows us around for pretty much our whole lives, whether we like it or not. Think about it, even back when you were in playschool, you would work with other kids to build a tower out of blocks. School is an endless series of one group work project or presentation after the next. For some, working in groups is a comfortable and relatively easy experience and for others it’s utter hell. Here are a few pointers that may get you through your next group work assignment:

1. Learn to listen – It is built into our chemistry that we need to feel heard. But in group situations you are competing with several other people, who all feel that they need to be heard. Always try to wait your turn to speak and don’t talk over others or finish their sentences.
2. But be heard – Don’t wait so long for your turn to speak that you’re actually not being heard. Everyone’s opinion in a group situation is important, otherwise you wouldn't be in a group. Be assertive and make sure that you get your chance to speak without being passed over. Do not tell yourself that what you have to say is less important than someone else’s opinion. If someone is constantly talking over you or interrupting you, don’t sulk, just stand up to them. But of course do so respectfully.
3. Think about your intention – What you intend to get across when speaking to your group and how what you say is interpreted are two different things. Your intention may be to innocently help someone with something that they are struggling with, but it may be interpreted as you thinking that the person you are helping is inadequate or stupid.
4. Find a balance between selfish and selfless – This one is pretty self-explanatory, but be careful not to take on too much or too little of the work required by the group. You don’t want to be overwhelmed and drowning while the rest of the group coasts along but you also don’t want to be that annoying slacker.
5. Be that annoying person – Be the douchebag who is constantly reminding people about time constraints or about how much work there is left to do. But learn to rein it in. Constantly reminding people about these things may affect their productivity and will most likely stress people out more than necessary. Think of ways to use to use these reminders to keep people motivated rather than discourage them.
6. Share – Share ideas, share workload, but most importantly, learn to share responsibility. Its all very well offering to take on the largest or most complicated part of a group task, or even offering to be the person who compiles everything. But also keep in mind that you are working in a team and no person should feel like they are drowning when there are others around to help. Also keep an eye out for people who take everything on and offer them help of you see that they are struggling, you may find that they desperately need it.
7. Be flexible – Although you may feel very strongly about your idea – you may even think it’s groundbreaking stuff – always keep in mind that it may not be the best idea. Learn to be flexible: let others take your idea and mould it or even perhaps turn it on its head completely. Be open to other ideas, no matter how much you believe in your own, and be careful not to shut down other people’s ideas on the premise that yours is better than theirs. The truth is, someone might truly have a better idea than you do. But of course don’t go around telling yourself that your ideas are not good enough or that someone’s always going to have a better idea than you do. Everyone’s ideas are important!
8. Avoid gossip – Try not to get involved in any gossip sessions about other group members behind their backs, especially during the time that you’re working with them. This can affect your ability to trust the person/people and can quite possibly screw you over at a later stage.
   
9. When tensions run high – It is quite possible that at some point during your time working in a group that you will encounter a high-pressure situation that usually involves a deadline. You’ll soon learn that a person’s ugly side will reveal itself in its extreme form in these circumstances. There is very little that you can do about other people’s behaviour in these situations, unless you’re in a position of authority. But you can be in control of your own behaviour, and this is what’s most important. Be especially self-aware in high-pressure situations. Be careful not to shout at others, make them feel incompetent or bully them into getting things done. Although you may get frustrated with the pace at which others may be working so close to a deadline, keep in mind that you all have to read the deadline together.
10.  Learn – Reflect on the experiences that you had as a member of a group and think about what you can learn from what may have occurred. Keep in mind what you have learned about yourself and try to improve in your next group work situation.

What to Take to University/College

This is the time of year (well at least in South Africa anyway) where endless crowds of students flock towards universities, colleges and other tertiary institutions for the first time in their lives to embark on their next – and perhaps their most exciting – chapter.

Many universities send out lists of things that you would generally need to buy or bring with you in order to survive the year. There are even some great websites that will help you out here. But I have put together a list of essentials that no one tells you that you will need, but that I can promise you that you will need along the way at some point:

1. A torch/flashlight: Don’t just think that your shiny new Smartphone will provide you with adequate light when you’re alone in the dark. What if there’s a power cut and your battery is flat? And what if you have a test the following day that you have yet to study for? Trust me, no matter where you are in the world – but especially in South Africa where power cuts are a normal occurrence – you will be grateful for a torch. 
2.  Highlighters: a ton of them! This is something that I can without a doubt guarantee you will need. And you will need a lot of them. This wonderful tool is useful in any learning environment, but particularly at varsity where the amount of content that you will be required to learn is exponential. And these sneaky little things have a habit of running dry at 2am when you’re desperately trying to cram an entire textbook into your cranium, so always make sure you have spares. 
3. A lighter: This is a little trick that I picked up in my first year. Lighters are the best conversation
   
   starters. If you’re at a party, in a club or at an event of some sort, there will always be someone looking for a lighter (especially if you live in the tobacco capital of the world like I do). It’s an excellent way to get to meet new people and learn a little bit about them. Lighters are also pretty nifty little tools and help a lot in many situations. 
4. A small first aid kit: this is something that you can either buy in its entirety, or put together yourself. Essentially you will need a few plasters/band aids, some antiseptic fluid or ointment and at least a bandage or two. Unidentified drunken injuries (UDIs) and a slip and fall on campus are almost inevitable at some point, it’s best to prepared. 
5. A card holder and lanyard: Some universities supply lanyards and card
   
   holders as a part of their orientation packs, others don’t. But these two things can be total life savers. You will have a student identity card of some sort that you will most likely need to have on you at all times whilst on campus. These slippery pieces of plastic are incredibly easy to misplace or lose. If you keep yours in a plastic card holder that you can either attach to a bunch of keys or a lanyard that you keep around your neck or in your pocket/bag, you will be less likely to lose your student card. I have put together a list of things that you will definitely need at University/College if you are of the female variety, check it out!

If you have yet to stumble across a general list of things that you should take with you to University, here is a quick one that you can build onto:

• Bed linen – it’s nice to have your own, even if they supply you with a set 
• Your clothes, obviously 
• Bath towels 
• A kettle, mugs, spoons and tea/coffee (depending on your living situation) 
• Pens, notebooks and files/folders 
• A 2014 diary (to keep track of deadlines and test dates)

Honey Boo Boo, all that bad?

As a current TV advert states Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the “show that has divided America” (and the world let’s be honest). And it sure has! People are raging about how common, redneck, lowdown and disgusting the family are. And others are raving about how much they love the show, although I've noticed that not many people say why they love the show.

My opinion: I think Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a fantastic show, I love it, and here’s why.

Here is a family of people who do not care one little bit about what others think about them. How amazing must it be to love yourself so much that you don’t care about how others perceive you? Should we not all strive towards such self-love? June or Mama, the mother of the family, weighs over 300 pounds and yet she thinks she is beautiful. But according to society’s definition of what is beautiful or desirable, she is not. I think it is amazing that she is so confident in herself and that she thinks she is beautiful no matter what.

Here is a family that is so close that they are comfortable being themselves around one another, to the point where they fart in front of one another, pick their noses, burp etc. Their display of this supposed socially unacceptable behavior around one another just shows how accepting they are of one another. Should we not all want to have relationships that close and that comfortable with our family members?

What I think is most successful about the show is how it highlights a huge problem in the way that we think. Yes, their behavior can be considered as common and lowdown, but according to whom? Yes, their accent is so southern that it is almost impossible to understand, but why do we think that that’s a problem? Yes, it’s gross that they fart, burp and pick their noses on camera, but gross according to whom?

I think what the show highlights most obviously is that we have this belief that our culture is what is right and acceptable, nothing else is. To them they don’t have an accent. That is our perception of them. And just because they don’t talk like we do doesn't make them any less common than the Geordies of Newcastle whose accent we don’t understand either.

Their behavior is perceived as socially unacceptable. But it’s unacceptable according to our culture, to them it’s perfectly normal. We think being that fat is ugly, we think behaving that way is unladylike and rude, we think what they are doing is wrong. We are so quick to make judgement based on the fact that we believe that what we do in our culture is right, and everyone else who doesn't do it our way is wrong, disgusting, controversial.